I wish somethings were how they use to be but there not and as hard as it is for me to except that this is how it is & it will never change it kind of hurts every second i think of it .There's nothing worst then loving someone that just got love for you and loving someone knowing that there loving someone else .Him being my first at everything how am i suppose to except this & move on .Why is it so easy for him to move on & hard for me ? why must I suffer the consequences ? I 'm still waiting for the day when I wake up & realize this is all a dream . I just want to be happy why can't I be happy . Nomatter where go Im going to always feel this way & it will never change . This just isn't right  I want my love but I can't have him .everyday I feel like crying .My book is filled with so many I WISH I NEVER MET HIM kind of songs i just can go on & on with me feeling down .Even though I know our relationship wasn't perfect & niether am I nor any one else & elses . Igot everything I want in my life except My Love